I know that months back I wanted to have my next post be about where I believe one of the most important places to start in the job of "Gospel Mothering" is. That place is your role as a wife and lover of your husband. But I am feeling more compelled to write about the first place and MOST important place which is your role as a daughter of Christ! My relationship with God has got to be the place that I start and end my work as a wife, mom, friend, daughter... and I am hurting for so many right now that are caught up in the sins of this world and have forgotten the simple truths that keep us protected from our sin. So forgive me if my thoughts are a little messy, I have soo many running around in my head!!!
"This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief." 1Timothy 1:15
I feel like I need to emphasize that this is where I am coming from, I am not perfect nor have I figured any of this ALL out! I am a pretty good sinner and I struggle all of the time, so I share my heart in all humility and in the wisdom of the words that God has given me and in the knowledge that the Spirit has graced me with today!
Where do I begin in this journey to be a woman who lives out the gospel? At the heart/feet of the one who gave me the gospel to start with!
I must confess to you that I am not in the word every morning as I should be and I will make NO excuses for that. There are days that I choose to be selfish and I put other things above the Lord and that is WRONG. Very often in my house we use the phrase "You can make the right choice or you can make the wrong choice. It's up to you" with our kids and I really need to do a better job of asking myself whether I am going to make the right choice or wrong? Am I going to please myself or am I going to please the Lord? When I wake up in the morning I have to choose that day that I am going to put God first and that should always start with a quiet moment in His word, soaking up the wisdom He has for me that day. He knows the day I am going to have, He's already been before me in it. So what better way to prepare myself for what I might encounter than to be in His word listening to Him? How can I best serve my Husband or Kids let alone the rest of the world if I am not first seeking God? In Jesus ministry here on earth, OFTEN he withdrew and spent time in prayer with the God. "And early in the morning, while it was still dark, He arose and went out and departed to a lonely place, and was praying there." ( Mark 1:35) He often charged His disciples to get away and rest and pray with Him. "Come with Me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest. ''Mark 6: 31'' If Christ knew that it was important to have time with the Lord than how much more important is it that I spend time with God?
I find that there are days that I just feel like I have totally failed. I have chosen to not do the things around the house that I know need to get done. I have been short with the kids. I do not want to serve my husband in the ways that he needs. I fall into gossiping, being frustrated by the choices of others instead of looking at my own choices, and getting caught up in the world. On those days I can guarantee you that I haven't been in the word. I can guarantee you that I have not set myself up to fight against my sinful nature and against the devils schemes. I guarantee you that I didn't put on the full armor of God that day! Why would God put that part in the bible? Why would that be very specifically placed in His word unless He knew how important it would be to us?? There are very few things in the Bible that are suggestions, actually I would say that there is NOTHING in the Bible that is a suggestion. Rather there are many things commanded to us in the Bible and why are they commanded? Because God knew that we would not do them on our own. He knew that they would be hard, that we would struggle with them, and He knew that we would be prone to do things our own way. So if it is commanded, that means we better do a good job of preparing ourselves to do them, because we are gonna come across a lot of stumbling blocks! And these commandments are things that are Important and essential to our well being and our spiritual lives. There is a spiritual battle going on out there over each one of us! Satan would love nothing more than to see us fall away from God and to keep us from being an example to someone else of who God really is. I know that in order for me to be ready to do battle and for me to be able to exemplify Christ in my life I have to be in His word. I have to be learning from the one I am to be following after. I have to be able to abide in Him so that He can work in and through me! When I try to do it on my own I usually end up falling into old habits and seeing things in myself that I know are not right.
There are soo many people fighting spiritual battles around me and it charges me more to be in the word so that I can protect myself from my flesh. It makes me desire to be in prayer more over my friends and family, that they may choose Christ and His word over their flesh. It makes me desire to be in the word so that I can be a support to those around me fighting those battles. I soo want to cling to God right now so that He can keep my eyes open and my heart soft! So that I am able to be sensitive to the Spirit. How can I lead my children if I am not being led? How will my children learn to desire God's word if I don't? How will my children learn to fight these battles if first I don't learn how to??
I remember learning about one of the names of God in a book called Hallowed be they names by David Wilkerson. This name is Jehovah Tsebaioth- The Lord of Hosts. This name appears in Joshua, when he is getting ready to do battle with Jericho and something that David says in explaining this name is really convicting and soo true; " Tragically, a majority of Christians today aren't even aware of their need for Jehovah Tsebaioth. This is because they're not doing battle, not seeking victory, not moving forward in their walk with Christ. Instead, they've made peace with the sinful strongholds that grip them. Why would the Lord send His heavenly army to help such believers, when they're not even willing to take up the fight?"
May I be a believer who is willing to take up the fight. May I be a believer who is actually eager to take up the fight. May I prepare myself every day to do battle by being in His word and seeking His wisdom so that I can gain the guts to deny myself and pick up my cross! May I remember that I do nothing without God, and that He is stronger than any thing that I struggle with or that anyone around me struggles with! May I NEVER forget the grace that He has given me and the mercy that He bestows on me every day and may I be ready to quickly give those things to the people around me!!! "We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Romans 15:1"
I am going to do my best and I know that there will be days where I falter, but I am thankful that the Lord will be by my side and as I continue to trudge along in this I pray that you will join me. I pray that I may be an encouragement and support to you and that if you have needs for prayer you will share them with me. I ask that you pray for me and for my family, that we may be a vessel that the Lord uses to spread His gospel. Thank you for stepping in to take a look at my life.
As a very good friend always signs off,
"Until the nets are full..."
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